A letter to the frustrated believer –

 

بِسْمِاللهِالرَّحْمٰنِالرَّحِيْمِ 

In the name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful.

Assalamualaikum Waramatuallahi Wabarkatahu, 

Here is a letter written to myself a few days ago, at my lowest 

and also for the few others who can relate to the struggle, 

Making an effort and taking small steps towards positivity. 

Here it goes, 

To my dearest Struggler, 

I’m writing this letter with only one intention in my heart, 

To tell you that you are not alone in this struggle. 

I can see how frustrated you are, 

You wake up every morning, not knowing why you’re even alive, 

And you go about your day to day, lost and in a slumber. 

When night embraces you, you lie awake, sleepless, 

Because you’ve a zillion thoughts and questions running through your mind. 

Questions like, 

“Is Allah even listening?

Is he pushing me away? 

Is he punishing me? 

Doesn’t he know that day by day, I’m slowly starting to lose myself?“

I see that you’ve tried your very hardest, you pushed yourself to only have positive thoughts. 

You’ve tried to hang out with people whom you think will make you feel closer to him. 

You’ve visited places of worship and peace, experienced the exquisite beauty with your own eyes.

And have also embraced the Hijab with all your heart and mind, 

But, you still feel LOST! 

Everyday you feel like a hypocrite, 

Muslim by name, but not a believer by heart. 

But my dear, having faith is not about ticking off a list of things to do, 

Neither does the journey of believing Allah follow a certain formula.

It does, however, 

Start with the Heart❤️

But why doesn’t my Heart feel anything? 

What am I doing wrong? 

And to this, 

I just wanna say, as long as you’re trying, you’re doing nothing wrong.

The only small bit where you’re wrong is that, you think your Heart feels nothing. 

That’s not true! 

Because this frustration, this confusion and this desperation you feel is the very proof that your Heart is actually aching for the Creator! 

Your heart is giving you clues that it misses The One and Only. 

Her Rabb. 

The very reason of existence.

I promise you my love, that at this very moment as I’m writing this letter to you, Allah (Subhanwata’la) is in the midst of working out something so so beautiful for you. 

You just can’t see it yet. 

It’s like how the lead character in the movies has no idea what the next scene is about, it’s the same rather much more bigger. 

You’re the Hero of your life. 

You’ve no clue what’s coming up next. 

 Because Allah(Subhanwata’la), The Most Merciful and The Most Compassionate, is the one directing your very own life story. 

And He Loves you!! 

More than anything in this world

So wouldn’t you think that he’ll give you

Your very own ‘Happy Ending’ too? 

So don’t despair okay? 

Because He sees and He knows Everything that you’re been going through. 

Have faith that there is beauty in the struggle. 

And just continue speaking to Him everyday. 

Share about the Big and Small things in your life,

Tell Him your secrets, your worries and make Him your first and last thought of your day.

Continue to do this, 

Until one day you’ll soon start to realise that, 

All this while The One that you’ve been seeking so hard to find, has actually always been right beside you. 

So when things get hard, promise me you’ll try to remember that Allah(Subhanwata’la ) has never left you okay? 

He never does and never ever will. 

Allah (Subhanwata’la) says in the Holy Quran,“Indeed I’m near” 

“Indeed I’m Near. 

 I answer the prayers of the supplicant, when he calls upon me. 

So let them respond to me

And believe in Me.

So that they may be rightly guided”

(2:186) 

‘Wallahi,

 If Allah(Subhanwata’la)has written something for you, then not a single person in creation is able to prevent it.

So relax and Believe in Him and His plans’ 

And lastly, 

Sometimes people with the worst past create the best Future –

(Umar bin Khattab) 

Love and prayers always, 

F